3 Weeks 'Til Forever Page 9

“We need to talk about my h-husband.”

  Janey closed the door.

  The word husband struck her like a bucket of ice water.

  “This won’t take long. I wanted to tell you exactly what’s going on between me and Redmond.”

  Fully prepared for some kind of confrontation, Layla paused at Janey’s measured silence.

  Sensing that she wanted her to say something but not willing to stoop to anything that would remotely resemble a clash, Janey just looked at her and said, “Very well, since you are so determined, say what you’ve come to say.”

  Fully prepared for some type of resistance, Janey’s non-reaction threw Layla a bit off her game. However, she was determined to make Janey realize she was fighting a losing battle when it came to Redmond.

  She continued, saying, “Redmond and I have been in love with each other since we were kids. We have an unbreakable bond, a child, together. And even though we’ve been apart for a while, I’m back now and we will work things out.”

  “Admittedly, we’re going through a rough patch now. But Redmond has only ever had eyes for me, and I’ve always loved him.”

  “Is that it?” Janey said. “Are you finished?”

  “Just one last thing and then I’ll be finished. . . . I don’t know if you know this, but island men always stick with their own kind. They may stray and they may play, but they always come back to their own women. You foreigners are nothing more than distractions for them.”

  Seeing the hurt in Janey’s eyes, Layla knew she’d hit her mark and walked towards the door.

  “I hope I’ve made myself clear but in case I haven’t, stay away from Redmond. He’s mine. Always has been, always will be,” Layla said as she exited the room.

  Janey was glad she’d let herself out because tears were streaming silently down her cheeks.

  The words of her grandmother came back to haunt her, “When you’re from two different cultures; that’s just asking for trouble. Stick to your own kind.”

  It was like it was some kind of sign and it ignited all the fears Janey had ever had about a relationship with Redmond.

  The one thing that stood out to Janey was that Layla had called Redmond her husband. Not her ex-husband; her husband.

  This was a pit of vipers she did not want to climb into – wife, child, divorce, custody. Dear lord, it was all so complicated.

  Janey made a decision.

  . . .

  Janey was relieved when Redmond called not five minutes after Layla left to say that his clients’ flight was delayed and they wouldn’t know for another hour or so if they would be able to leave tonight or would have to take one tomorrow.

  They asked him to stick around until they found out because if they didn’t get one that night, they were going to come back with him and get one the next day. As all business is built on repeat business in tourist havens like Sol y Besos, he’d felt that he couldn’t say no, he explained.

  “I still want to see you tonight Janey. I know it’ll be really late, but it’s important that we talk.”

  “We will talk Redmond, but don’t worry about making it over tonight. You looked tired earlier and as it is, you won’t be getting much sleep tonight. I have a long day tomorrow, so why don’t you come over, say, around 5 tomorrow evening. It’ll give us both time to do what we need to do, and we can talk then.”

  Redmond sensed something in her voice, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

  A little panicked, he said, “You won’t disappear on me like you did the last time will you?”

  “I promise not to leave without seeing you Redmond. Have a good night and get home safe, ok?”

  Redmond trusted that she would be true to her word and said, “Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow at 5.”

  Janey was glad she wouldn’t be seeing Redmond tonight. She needed time to gather the strength to do what she knew must be done.

  Chapter 16: The Decision

  The concierge rang at 4:58 p.m. the next day to let her know that a Mr. Hillyard was there to see here. Janey told him to send him up.

  Dear Lord, give me strength. Give me strength to do what I need to do, Janey prayed, just as a knock sounded on her door.

  Redmond entered and immediately pulled her to him, holding her tightly.

  Not wanting to prolong their encounter any longer, Janey took a deep breath and stepped back from him, saying “Redmond, I’ve made a decision. I don't know if you will understand it because I’m not sure I quite understand it myself. My hope is that …”

  Redmond interrupted Janey. He didn't want to know what she had to say. All he knew was that he had to have her in his life and he didn't want to hear anything that was going to change that.

  He KNEW this woman; the very core of her. So he knew that in his heart, whatever she had to say he was going to accept and find a way to for them to overcome because the truth of the matter was, he couldn't live without her.

  Erasing the two feet of space between them, Redmond took Janey in the circle of his arms again, put a finger on her lips to silence her and kissed her forehead. For what seemed like a mini-eternity, once again he just held her, cradling her head gently to his chest.

  The rapid thudding of his heart surprised her. How could he hold her so calmly, yet be bursting with such palpable anxiety.

  Silent tears coursed down her cheeks and she started to speak.

  Redmond pulled back, still holding her in the circle of his arms, seeking her eyes with his own. His looked silenced her. She'd never seen such raw emotion on his face.

  "I want you to listen to me Janey and listen good. What I'm about to say to you I've never said to another woman in my life.”

  "I love you. I love you so fiercely that it frightens me. The one thing I know for sure is that I can't live without you. So whatever it is you have to tell me, just know, I'm not going anywhere. Somehow, some way, we'll get through whatever it is together.”

  Janey's swallowed past the knot in her throat, preparing to speak but Redmond continued on, imploring her to let him finish first.

  "From the moment I saw you, something moved inside of me. I don't know what it was – to this day – I can't explain it. I tried to ignore it. When I couldn't do that, I tried to understand it. But to be honest, I don't think I was equipped with the emotional tools I needed to do that.”

  "Then, I got angry.”

  "Remember the night at the hotel when I went for a walk and basically shut you out?”

  "That was the first time I admitted to myself that I was in love with you. I’d known it from practically the day I met you, but that was the first time I admitted it to myself.”

  “And there you stood … in your beautiful dress, with your expensive heels looking all elegant – ready to go to dinner at this fancy restaurant.”

  "I realized then that I was out of my league. I knew that there was no way I could give you the things that you were used to. Hell, I couldn’t even hold on to a woman who wasn’t used to the things you’re used to.

  “All I kept thinking was, ‘how in the hell are you going to hold on to her?’”

  "For the first time in my life, I was scared out of my wits... scared that I was going to have to go through life without you because I also knew that there would never be another you. That there would never be another woman who just fit me like you did.”

  "Anger and withdrawal have always been my fall-back ways of coping. And for a part of the life I've lived, operating this way has literally saved my life on more than one occasion. It and also allowed me to avoid getting too close to any woman since I was married.”

  "But I've found that these fall-back positions don't work with you.”

  "Every time I've gotten angry with you or shut you out, I've gotten even angrier with myself. The hurt and confusion in your eyes on those occasions have been like the proverbial knife in my heart.”

  "And I can't stay away from you, no matter how many times I've told myself that you'd be better off without me; th
at you can do so much better than me; I just haven't been able to stop finding a way to be near you.”

  "What I've realized is that when you love someone – truly love them the way I love you – there's no place for anger and withdrawal.”

  "I find myself wanting to work it out with you. No matter how different we are, there are so many things that are right between us.”

  “Remember when I caught that lizard and you were so embarrassed about being such a big baby? You said you’d never had a man come to your rescue before and it almost broke my heart because while I realized that I can't give you a lot of things, I can give you some of the most important . . .”

  “Love, protection, security.”

  "What kind of man wouldn't protect the woman he loves … no matter how trivial her fears may seem?”

  “And that's why I came here today. I'm asking you to trust that I'll always be here for you Janey. I'll always be truthful to you, gentle with you and faithful to us – to what we have.”

  “Now I'm not promising you that life is going to be easy. We're different. You're independent and stubborn as hell and I'm not an easy man to live with. There will be times when we will not get along. That's just a simple fact.”

  “But I promise you this . . . I'll be a husband you can be proud of; one who will hang in there and work things out; one who will honor the woman you are.”

  Through parched lips, Janey whispered, "Did you say husband?"

  "Yes, I said husband. You're my woman. I want all of you – and I want papers to that effect."

  Redmond fell silent. He tried to read her expression, hoping that she'd immediately say yes. With tears coursing in full force down her cheeks, Janey turned away from him and walked out of his embrace.

  Looking out over the Caribbean sea from the expansive balcony of her room, she let out a small, nervous breath and began to speak slowly, halfway afraid that Redmond was going to interrupt her again.

  "I owe you such a big apology Redmond. I feel like such a fool for not trusting you from the beginning. You're an honorable, hardworking man and it was my own insecurities and prejudices that kept me from fully recognizing that right away. I’m sorry about that; I truly am.”

  "You're right about us being different. That doesn't frighten me. What frightens me is that we're different on so many levels, not only the obvious – as man and woman – but our cultures are different, our language is different, the way we approach and experience life is different.

  “And then there’s your daughter and your wife is now back in the picture. I just see so many problems on the horizon.”

  "There's no denying it, I love you. ‘I love you’ doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel for you. I've known that since the first week we met. Like you, I fought it but as a woman, I realized early on that that was useless. So I gave myself over to it; letting myself think that, ‘Ok, this could work.’”

  "Then you’d put up another wall or we’d have a disagreement and all those fears of how different we are would surface – and I realized just how impossible our love would be.”

  “I say all this to say that even though I love you, I’m afraid that our differences will eventually tear us apart. And I couldn’t bear that. I couldn’t bear beginning to build a life with you only to have to learn how to live without you one day because we were miserable together.”

  "What we’ve experienced has been too beautiful on some level to tarnish. So while everything in me wants to be your wife, I know it wouldn’t work.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  "You deserve to be happy. And I just don’t think that we can make each other happy.”

  Redmond was stunned. The roaring of blood in his ears drowned out her voice. He couldn’t hear her. Everything after the words “wouldn't work” didn’t register.

  Janey turned to see the statue that was Redmond. The bright sun bouncing off the sea caught what she thought was moisture in his left eye. And just like that, it was gone.

  “Thank you for at least hearing me out. Have a safe flight home.”

  Redmond turned and walked out without another word.

  The rubber that was Janey’s knees finally snapped. Several hours later – eyes red and swollen – she unglued herself from the cool tile of the floor, poured a glass of Merlot and watched the sun set from the balcony.

  I did the he right thing, she said to herself.

  She kept repeating it; it became like a mantra. It had to be true, otherwise, what had she done?

  Knowing there would be no sleep that night, Janey took her time packing in preparation for the trip home tomorrow. The hustle and bustle of Manhattan was just what she needed.

  Although . . . for the first time, the thought of returning filled her with emptiness.

  Chapter 17: The Kiss

  At 6:45 the next morning, Wilson, the driver dispatched to take her to the airport, called to let her know he was waiting when she was ready.

  He was a few minutes early, which Janey was grateful for. She was ready to get out of this room and off this island, which held so many passionate moments with Redmond.

  Although Sol y Besos was her favorite beach getaway, she knew it would be a long time before she visited this land of “sun and kisses” again.

  Eyes tearing at the thought, she reached in her bag for her oversized Jackie O sunglasses. Thank god the sun rose early here, this way she wouldn’t look out of place with them on.

  Wilson greeted her on the balcony, taking her bags and tucking them neatly in the trunk of the sleek, black town car.

  She’d need the 45-minute drive to the airport to compose herself. She’d been awfully weepy this morning, which was very unlike her, even in emotionally charged situations.

  She now truly knew the meaning of heartbreak.

  Funny, she thought, she’d never thought of it as a physical act – as something that could physically happen. But that’s just what it felt like – her heart was literally breaking.

  Closing her eyes to avoid the various bars and beach spots along the route to the airport where she’d hung out with Redmond, Janey decided to try to catch a little cat nap.

  While she didn’t sleep, she did lose herself.

  . . .

  Redmond pushed her up against the door as soon as they entered the room. His lips plundered hers as he pulled her skirt up and stuck his hands in her panties, seeking the spot he was becoming so familiar with.

  Janey sucked in a sharp breath, wincing against the pleasant pain his roughness caused, all the while moving to give him better access to the center of her.

  They'd been out all day, spending a good portion of it with his friends – grilling fish fresh from the ocean over open-earthed fire pits, drinking beer, playing dominoes and just enjoying each other's company.

  The day had started with him taking her to the sleepy fishing village of Pesca Royale in Hill Country, where she'd interviewed a few fishermen, which rounded out a deep sea fishing ‘spotlight’ series for one of her blog network’s smaller advertisers.

  Janey had finished her assignment early that day and on the drive back to their hotel, Redmond had run into friends of his and it had turned into a full day of real fun in the sun – with plenty of laughter and affection to go with the brilliance of the Caribbean sunshine.

  Images of the day flooded her mind.

  Redmond offering her fresh-grilled fish from a palm leaf, which doubled as a plate.

  Redmond laughing as she furiously batted her mouth to cool it from the hot pepper she’d insisted on trying, in spite of his warnings.

  Redmond patiently explaining to her how to play dominoes, after she’d observed that she always saw only men playing it and wanted to learn.

  Redmond taking the gum from her mouth directly into his after giving her a kiss.

  Redmond …

  Redmond …

  Redmond …

  Janey couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy. Recalling that day, she re
alized that it was the first day they'd both let their guards down – and each other in.

  After a few too many beers and plenty of good food, one kiss lit a spark between them that could only have one conclusion.

  Making her head swirl from the delicious movements of his fingers in her panties, Redmond lifted her and moved from the door to the bed, covering her body with his and continuing the assault on her mouth.

  “Pulling up her white tee, he released one firm breast from her white lace bra and covered it with the hotness of his mouth.”